Skip Atwater

Since 1988, I have produced the Metamusic catalog for The Monroe Institute and its commercial agent, Interstate Industries, Inc. That role has required me to be objective toward the project in order to guide the artists/composers appropriately. It has been a great honor to work with them and to see the beneficial results.

During my years at TMI, from time to time I have put on the composer's hat and added a bit of music-perhaps an intro or a relaxation sequence-to some of the predominantly verbal Hemi-Sync exercises. The role of composer is very different from that of recording engineer/producer, probably because of my individual style. I hear the music playing in my head first and then attempt to recreate it for others to hear. The process is both sacred and frustrating. I have always felt that the music moving in and through me is of divine origin. Such sounds are often difficult (if not impossible) to replicate. Hence the frustration. Because of this inherent tension, I have composed only for myself. The bulk of my work has never been recorded. When I was asked to create a short piece of music for the Institute's Heartline program, all of that changed.

For some reason, the music that came through for that program was exceptionally easy to recreate. It was then used in several tape exercises that became available to the TMI membership. To my surprise, members began to contact TMI and III. They were sure that the music had been excerpted from a new Metamusic title and were disappointed to learn that it was just a short intro theme. My beloved friend and employer, Laurie Monroe, suggested that I break my personal taboo and expand the music into a full-length composition. For the reasons stated above, I strongly resisted the idea. My accustomed roles were very comfortable. Laurie persistently and lovingly dismantled my self-created box. I found myself accepting the challenge on the condition that I would have unlimited artistic freedom. She agreed, and soon I was sitting in front of a piano keyboard wondering how to fulfill my promise. It's easy to access musical ideas. Letting go of my need to express them perfectly was the real hurdle. My internal wrestling match began.

As the fragments of ideas coalesced into full musical statements, I found that the process- despite my initial reservations-was far less painful than I had anticipated. There were many times when I slipped back into my frustrated perfectionist mode, only to remember that the objective was to just let the music come through. About halfway through the recording process, I started to wonder what this piece was about. What story did it tell? Consulting the source of the music itself, I was told that it was a journey-a personal journey certainly, but also something more. I suddenly flashed on a beautiful story I had read some years ago entitled The Hymn of the Pearl. It is one of many Gnostic texts written around 300 C.E. and encapsulates for me the meaning of our life on earth. The story describes a journey of the spirit, through incarnation and its return to its origins after obtaining the pearl it was sent to retrieve. For me, the pearl represents wisdom gained through experience.

With that final piece of the puzzle, the music took on a life of its own. I am fully aware of my need to have undertaken this journey. I am grateful for all who were involved with the process: Laurie Monroe for her unfailing support, my wife, Carmie, for her honest feedback and love, and those who inquired about the Metamusic which did not yet exist. Most of all, I extend gratitude to the source of this music and of all unmanifested ideas. Spirit's Journey is dedicated to all of the divine spirits and all of the friends who have shared my own spirit's journey. May the peace of the eternal one live in your awareness always!

© 1999 by The Monroe Institute

Before being catapulted into the world of subtle energies, Leslie Sorg Ramsay had plenty of earth adventures—through her work in public relations and marketing at the White House, with international cultural programs, and currently as an executive recruiter who helps people to improve their lives, not just change jobs. The foundations of her life crashed in 1997. That year she lost her mother and mentor-father, and at age forty-seven she also became a first-time bride and widow. Although she had driven by TMI numerous times when visiting a long-time family friend, it wasn’t until her husband’s death that Leslie asked, “What’s The Monroe Institute?” The answer immediately got her attention. She read Bob Monroe’s three books and signed up for the GATEWAY VOYAGE in 1998, then did GUIDELINES in 1999 and LIFELINE in 2000, followed by HEARTLINE and EXPLORATION 27 in 2001.

I want to live! That’s what I felt after a week at The Monroe Institute attending the HEARTLINE program. Before HEARTLINE, I had been emotionally crushed over the death of my husband. I married for the first time four years ago at the age of forty-seven. My husband had terminal cancer when we married and died seven months later. The emotional high of finally finding “the love of my life” to the low of losing him couldn’t have been more extreme. I was a graduate of three other TMI programs and I was learning about Hemi-Sync, but never quite “got it” (by my definition). Still emotionally burdened by the heavy loss of my husband, Walter, and the powerful need to communicate with him, I had high expectations for each program. But HEARTLINE was different.

Previously, I had no interest in attending HEARTLINE because I hadn’t felt the need to focus on my heart, which was raw—having already taken enough of a pummeling in grieving the loss of my husband. Also, I assumed the program was probably “psycho-babble,” so those attending would be emotionally less mature. I am outgoing and express my feelings easily, so learning to open my heart did not resonate. However, my battered heart needed a lengthy and gentle massage, so I signed up for HEARTLINE. I also knew a week at TMI would provide the physical rest I needed and my mind could travel farther than any airplane could fly. Also, I knew the programs ALWAYS revealed something unexpected, so I arrived with an open mind.

HEARTLINE and the twenty-four hours after it ended, plus continuing conversations with fellow attendees and other TMI graduates, had my head popping with revelations from the enormous experience and how the week had changed my life. The tools gained will guide me into extraordinary future adventures in this life, and beyond. After numerous attempts to communicate with my inner guidance, I finally relaxed and “got it.” My inner communications are almost humorous now because I have “someone” to talk to at high speed, with rapid-fire questions and answers. Also, I have patience to wait for the answers now because I know they will come. And, my late husband and I definitely communicated, so I was able to release the emotional pain without losing the depth of my love for him.

I also communicated with my mentor-mother, still alive but recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. This was of enormous comfort to me because it had been so painful when she didn’t recognize me. I avoided contacting her for months because I felt we were not really communicating. Not so, I learned. She came to me in spirit and clearly communicated during one of the tape exercises. We even visited with her “children,” twelve cats now dispersed to separate homes. Now, when I speak with her in person I am comfortable since I know that we are communicating—even if she doesn’t recognize me. I know that we are hugging emotionally and sharing deep love for each other. Later that week I called my sister-in-law, who also has Alzheimer’s. Even though she got her facts mixed up, I was totally at ease knowing that at some level, she understood our conversation perfectly and was able to receive my love for her.

Since my HEARTLINE experience taught me how to communicate with someone physically alive but mentally off, I discovered that I could now communicate with people I don’t have chemistry with professionally or socially. I now talk with them through their higher energy levels, so my earthly resistance to their personalities or values does not darken my space.

Also, TMI attendees en masse attract and create a huge energy high—much more concentrated energy than any one person could attract or bask in. One realizes how high they have been when the program ends. The breadth of experiences among the group provides many new insights into ways of communicating with different energy levels as well as using the information practically and productively. The week was full of joy and laughter. We danced alone and together. The love and spirit of the individuals made that possible. This fullness of emotion and fun happens at every TMI program, but I clearly needed the laughter and joy for heart healing at HEARTLINE. The outside barriers and facades of our lives disappeared and we had a great time, while gaining tools and insight that would make our lives more fulfilling.

My transition from TMI to home brought another surprise. I unexpectedly adopted a dog named Bailey. I kept that name because at HEARTLINE I was reminded of Jimmy Stewart’s character in It’s a Wonderful Life. Named George Bailey, he, too, learned to want to live again. Bailey is my daily reminder that I want to live again.

Postscript
On Thanksgiving Day, after visiting with my late husband’s family, I boarded a train to New York. As I sat down, my wedding ring got caught on a metal piece attached to the chair seat, pulling so hard the gold ring split in two (without taking my finger off!). Was it another sign to let go of Walt and love again on this earth? No doubt. The conductor who told me to report it to Amtrak officials was named Mr. Bailey.

© 2002 by The Monroe Institute

A voice spoke to me deep within my soul and said, "You are safe".
"You are safe to let your walls down and share your deepest fears".
A voice spoke to me and told me "on the other side of fear is love".
Of course, I knew this in my left-brain, in fact I teach this to my clients.
But somehow this week was anointed; it was sacred, blessed, and holy.
Not like the holiness of perfection or the holiness of a monastery,
But the holiness that says, "all is well with my soul"* and "all is well with all".

There was more laughter this week than I ever remember in my life.
The walls shook and the ground vibrated with our laughter and our joy.
The mountains felt the glory of our presence and those who came before us.
I felt the very presence of Nancy Monroe and we sang Dona Nobis Pachim.
I felt the love of all those who made this week possible and created this space,
The space to release the blocks that keep us from knowing our greatness.

We played and created and sang and danced and told ghost stories at night.
We jumped on a makeshift surfboard, making up silly games we had long outgrown.
We were Little Red Riding Hood, the Big Bad Wolf and grandma going to focus 27
We were pretend woodcutters and big bears who tried our best to be comedians
We were Dorothy going to hear the "Wizdom of Bob" with Toto as our guide.
We were a Scarecrow at focus 10, the Tin Man at focus 12, and a Lion at focus 15.
We created beautiful works of art and returned them to the earth in gratitude.

I saw a deer which the Native Americans say signifies gentle, healing spirituality, and
We saw a tiny frog on a bell and frogs teach us that our tears cleanse our soul.
Was the deer a deer and the frog a frog or were they beings giving us their messages?
If anyone has ever hugged a tree or a huge rose crystal, you can imagine a week of this!

There were country trails to walk, glorious mountains to climb, and a lake to find.
But the trails I walked were to my inner soul and I found the parts I had lost long ago.
The mountain I climbed gave me the strength to take the power of my identity back
And the waters of the pool cleansed the junk that had been stored for far too long.

Of course there were lots of tears; but as they fell down our cheeks we felt release.
And after the tears came the comfort, and a shared unity that embraced our hearts.
We said I love you so much that we felt we were overflowing with endless love.
I felt like every cell in my body was a heart chakra and that every touch an extension of myself, wondering how any of us could ever have felt separate or alone.
I felt like every word spoken was divinely inspired because our angelic identity came
forth in full transparency without the need to hide behind masks or hidden agendas.

So for me, Heartline represented the most glorious week I can ever remember.
I will never be able to go back to the way I was, for I am indeed a new creation.
My family can hardly recognize the new me. I feel like I have a new friend in me.
I will never be able to totally express my gratitude to the Monroe Institute for this gift.
Every time I think of Heartline I feel myself expanding and continuing to grow.
To paraphrase Rumi, the great Sufi poet, "What was said to the rose to make it open, was said to me in my heart."