April 27
Why We Resist Change and How to Embrace Changes that Benefit Us
We are living in a time of substantial change. The pandemic catapulted us into a technological revolution we may or may not have been ready for. Either way, it gave us the nudge to dispense with many physical tools we were holding on to for no reason other than “tradition,” and got us online in many forward-moving ways. Still, the period following the pandemic has had us walking on unstable ground as the world continues to grow, evolve, and change beneath our feet.
As human beings, our first instinct is to resist change. This only makes sense, as change shifts us out of our comfort zones, which exist for a valid reason. Instinctively, when we are pushed out of our comfort zone, it’s possible we could be in some form of danger. This resistance to change goes all the way back to evolutionary times when anything out of the ordinary in our lives could be a threat to our very existence. But times have changed. And while the stakes may not always be that high, the discomfort we feel still exists as a tool to inform us.
So, when things change around you and your immediate reaction is to resist, it’s important to understand the above and know that change isn’t your natural enemy. That hesitation you feel comes from an ancient instinct that exists for your own safety, and shouldn’t be ignored. In times of change, I find it very important to meditate with your thoughts and explore your feelings of discomfort.
This resistance to change goes all the way back to evolutionary times when anything out of the ordinary in our lives could be a threat to our very existence. But times have changed. And while the stakes may not always be that high, the discomfort we feel still exists as a tool to inform us.
When I’m dealing with a heavy period of change in my life, I try to meditate daily and reflect on all the changes. I find a quiet space to be alone with my thoughts and begin to ask the following questions—usually from Focus 10, but Focus 12 is also helpful for earthly discovery:
- What about this change do I not like? (It’s important at this point to note what the change is and why it is making you feel uncomfortable. Why are you resisting what is happening? Is there a good reason for it, or is it just because it’s unfamiliar to you?)
- How can this change potentially be for the better? (There are many ways that this change could actually improve your life. Really weigh out the good against the bad.)
- Visualize what the change would mean for your regular routine. See it all the way through. (The more familiar you are with something, the less intimidating it is likely to seem.)
If you deem that the change is negative overall without many benefits, consider starting an open conversation about it; but if you feel comfortable enough, cautiously explore the change. Exploration is the first step to accepting. And if it’s really for the better, there’s no point in resisting it.
I find that I get caught up in this loop a lot. As someone with OCD, change feels harder for me than most. I get quickly stuck in a routine, and the idea of changing the routine (even if it’s for the better) comes with a lot of resistance on my end. So, I’ve found that meditating on these questions and really analyzing all sides of the change helps me not only see the good in it, but also grants me a degree of comfort in the change.
We get used to new routines. Change is inevitable. It’s how the world works, after all. We are living, evolving beings.
Now, in the end, if the change really isn’t for the better and you can’t see any way in which it is, I do think it’s important to address it. But, generally, life has us constantly evolving. By doing the above meditation and getting more familiar with the changes in my life, I find that I can finally get comfortable with something new. After the fear of the unknown fades away and our comfort comes back, we find ourselves getting into a new comfort zone from the evolution of the old. We get used to new routines. Change is inevitable. It’s how the world works, after all. We are living, evolving beings. So, try to embrace change when you can. From that, you may even learn to celebrate it.
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Learn MoreMalorie Mackey
Actress, author and adventurer