(TMI Focus, Vol. XXXI Nos. 3&4, Summer/Fall 2009)
Going Home®: A Real Life Story
by Gary D. Chaikin, MD
Gary D. Chaikin is a medical doctor and psychiatrist with over twenty-seven years of experience. He is currently employed as the regional psychiatrist at Fort McCoy, Wisconsin, where he is helping returning U. S. troops deal with their wartime traumas. Additionally, he has a holistic private practice in Onalaska, Wisconsin, to which clients travel from all over the country for innovative healing therapies. He attended the GATEWAY VOYAGE® in October 1999 and became a TMI professional member at that time.
Dr. Chaikin has a special interest in the applications of an integral psychology and is assisting clients to handle life difficulties and to evolve their awareness through a biopsychosocial-spiritual model. His holistic approach was significantly enriched through his wife’s terminal illness and their shared experience of dealing with that process and the medical system. Recently he has begun to incorporate modern technological Chinese approaches into the model. Dr. Chaikin can be contacted by e-mail at email@example.com
The journey began July 1, 2005, when my wife, Randi, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Her treatment—the triumphs and eventual failure—is another story. I’d like instead to skip to the end and the process of GOING HOME. Randi passed over on May 2, 2007. My wife always wanted to write about and share her interaction with the medical community, but she was too ill. She’d say, “It would all be worth it if just one person would be helped to not go through what I had to experience.” As things never turn out the way our small self thinks, this account ironically may be the help she intended and intuited: a real-life story about GOING HOME.
Who am I? Well, in Consciousness 1 (C-1), I was Randi’s husband and soul mate. By profession I am a medical doctor and a psychiatrist. I graduated from Monroe’s GATEWAY VOYAGE program in 1999 and then took LIFELINE® and MC². My last residential program, EXPLORATION 27®, occurred in the summer of 2006. I’m a TMI professional member and have published two articles in the Hemi-Sync® Journal in 2001 and 2002. I have also participated in the Dolphin Energy Club (DEC) healing outreach in the past. Most importantly for this story, during EXPLORATION 27 it was revealed to me that Randi was part of my Soul Group/Disc/I-There and that our I-There was the “Intercessor.” Only after the journey I will describe did I understand what that meant.
My wife was never interested in going to TMI (even though I had sent my mother). Usually she avoided my work and exploration with shifts in consciousness, preferring to fully pursue Iyengar yoga. After my father passed away and I retrieved his soul from Focus 23––relocating him to Focus 25––Randi would periodically ask me if I would retrieve her when the time came.
The Trip, GOING HOME
During the course of my wife’s illness we had tried to heal with DEC support, as well as preparing for crossing over with GOING HOME, but Randi each time would just fall asleep. When I’d measured her brain waves through brain mapping, it showed both hemispheres in delta sleep. Was this an effect of the tumor and/or archetypal unconsciousness, the beginning of her transition?
By the end, my wife’s course was progressively downhill, despite the best that traditional and alternative medicine had to offer. On the morning of April 11, 2007, my life’s companion would not awaken, and she was admitted to the hospital’s palliative care unit. The medical staff was initially supportive when they believed she would expire quickly. As time went on, they became hostile to my attempts to provide integrative healing. They believed me to be in denial despite my continuous reassurances to the contrary. Behind the scenes, I had elicited the support of four psychic healers. The tumor’s growth stopped, but it did not shrink. With the doctor’s approval I was permitted to begin the GOING HOME CDs. That may have been because I flashed the name of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross––the most famous individual in the hospice movement––and was unabashed about evoking my religious rights and convictions: “My wife is in God’s hands.”
The nursing staff was mildly curious about what I was doing but mostly just stayed out of my way. During the day there was a parade of family, friends, and medical personnel. Luckily, all would go home by late at night, and I would return––uninhibited by others––and begin the process of assisting my soul mate to cross over.
We used a split line to listen to the GOING HOME exercises, join, communicate, and go out of body (Chaikin 2002), even though Randi was in an altered state of consciousness—a coma. This activity became an island of beauty, sanity, and joy in the midst of a world of pain and suffering. Our love and trust was continuously confirmed during this very difficult time. I don’t know how I could have made those almost impossible, no-win medical decisions for her without our connection in Focus 27. We started by listening to the GOING HOME series beginning with CD 1, track 1: Mind Awake/Body Asleep, proceeding in order to Flying Free, Remove and Release, Edge of Here/Now, Touring the Interstate, and Moment of Revelation.
As we moved through this process, each time we listened I noticed that Randi’s energy body––projected from the physical with my assistance––was becoming duller and duller in Focus 12 and her energy in Focus 27 was becoming brighter and brighter. She was luminous and filled with joy. Additionally, she began to appear nightly (or if I napped) in my dreams and each time in my own meditations, which took me to Focus 27, 35, and 42. She would be ebullient, having found her way to Focus 27 without my help.
It had been my expectation from the beginning that I would have to retrieve my wife’s soul from Focus 23, as I’d done with my father’s, and translocate it to Focus 25. Instead, the process had been so successful we began to create her own place in Focus 27 and connected it to my place. We moved from GOING HOME Moment of Revelation to utilizing my LIFELINE Take-Home Exercise. This gave us unique, specific frequencies and longer periods of time in Focus 27. We built her yoga studio onto my cabin and began to connect and coordinate activities (for example, doing headstands, which she was not allowed to do in C-1 by doctor’s orders—I and her yoga friends had done headstands daily for her throughout her illness). This helped me immensely with the isolation that occurs when a family member has a terminal illness. For myself, I concurrently began to journal; in an altered state of consciousness (Focus 11 or 12) I became my own therapist and assisted myself in handling emotional issues. Other times I did Self-Therapy, “putting it out to the universe” or going to Focus 35 to ask questions. Very difficult decisions had to be made without my wife’s conscious answers. They were accomplished by connecting to her consciousness in Focus 27, 35, or 42, depending on the issue.
After approximately one and a half weeks, Randi had still not died. The medical staff, her family, and friends began, with good intentions, to apply considerable pressure on me to suspend the life-sustaining measures of intravenous steroids, alkalinizing buffers, antiseizure medication, and fluids and—finally—transfer her to a nursing home to die. When a repeat MRI showed no shrinkage of the tumor (but no further growth over two weeks), I consulted Randi in Focus 27. She told me how much she loved me and that she trusted whatever decision I made. I don’t know how I could have made it though this decision point without her permission in Focus 27. What needed to be done was done and my wife’s living body, in “God’s hands,” was transferred to a nursing home on April 25, 2007.
We continued our excursions to Focus 27 each night, with Randi (or what little C-1 energy was left of her) phase-shifting with me to There. Then on May 1, 2007, on my way to work, I was contacted by cell phone. One of the psychics––an archangel healer and DNA adjuster––had been in contact with Randi. The healer said, “She doesn’t want to leave you, but she can’t get back in her body. She’s willing to come back but it’s too far gone and would take too much from her and you.” Two hours later the nursing home contacted me through my brother. I was told that my wife’s breathing had changed and that she would surely die within the next half hour to two hours. I left work immediately and went straight to the nursing home, preparing for Randi’s final breath. It did not come.
We again met in Focus 27 that evening via the LIFELINE Support Exercise. I pledged that if she was still alive the next day, I would initiate rehydration and rescue efforts. In C-1 reality, I went home at 10:30 P.M. Her breathing seemed to have stabilized somewhat. Upon awakening the next morning I contacted the nursing home. They told me that she was “the same,” and that a friend was with her, visiting. A call was made to my wife’s family physician, the situation was explained to the doctor’s nurse, and help was requested. I was promised a call back shortly after a consultation with the doctor. The telephone rang about twenty minutes later. Instead of the doctor’s office, it was the nursing home calling to notify me that Randi had “passed away.” It is like the old saying, “Be careful what you ask for; you might just get it.” I had said, “Let the Higher Self make the decision,” and it did! Randi had chosen the exact moment of her death—her friend had just left and I would have been at the nursing home within thirty minutes with a resuscitative plan for her physical body. What else could ensue but my complete acceptance of what was meant to be?
I arrived at the nursing home to find my wife lying in bed. Randi was beautiful, radiant, with the familiar smile on her face I’d not seen in weeks, only she wasn’t breathing. Family and staff left me alone with her. The funeral home had been called but they were delayed. We finished the journey together, with the GOING HOME Relocation Theme playing through a split line for us. As we listened to Bob Monroe’s words, she lifted out of her physical body for the final time. I felt the ecstatic joy at being able to participate in the process, and I feel like crying right now as I write and remember. What a privilege to have been a part of this event in my wife’s existence. After delivering her soul to Focus 27 and our place There, I returned to C-1 and continued the Relocation Theme, allowing family, staff, and the funeral home to do their things, finally removing the body which I knew she was more than.
We made it through her funeral together, and while rejuvenating afterward at my mother’s in California, I came to realize my intense gratitude at Randi’s supreme sacrifice. She trusted to cross over and allow my freedom in C-1. This facilitated an evolution in consciousness beyond intellect into a centering at a level of spiritual unconditional love (Chaikin 2001; Hawkins 2001). On my return from California, a memorial was held at my office for Randi’s many friends. It was a very emotional time for all forty to fifty people who attended. In gratitude, I offered coyly that those who wanted to stay and experience my research work could and might have an “intense recollection of Randi.” Six people––all fairly close to both of us––stayed; I prepared them, then played GOING HOME Touring the Interstate. All I can say is when we returned to C-1 they looked like “deer in the headlamps” and were unable to speak of their experience, although they had the opportunity. Several came back later and could only say, “That was intense!” Maybe we got a few converts?
Now I carry on actively in two lives, embracing the multidimensional like Jane Roberts, who channeled the Seth material. In Focus 27 and up, Randi is present, and in time/space physical reality, she is now absent. This phenomenon occurs almost every morning during my direct and instantaneous phase-shift from C-1 to Focus 27. Serious decisions involving Randi are still knowingly made in higher Focus levels, though the whole experience is far from morbid. Each visit to Focus 27 is a time for enjoying her presence, doing yoga (continuing our headstands), discussing past and future events, having breakfast (and deciding what “I” will eat in C-1), and creating new fun experiences. Randi is back in her thirties in Focus 27: healthy, active, and a whole lot wiser spiritually. Something good really can come from tragedy, with a little help from the resources provided by The Monroe Institute®.
I was originally going to call this article “A Celebration: Surviving the Death of a Loved One,” but this is really about Randi, not me. I was just along for the trip of a lifetime. Some might have found this disrespectful up front, before reading her story. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, in her famous book On Death and Dying, postulated that during the dying process the individual (Subject) and others (Support) go through stages of adaptation, finally arriving at Acceptance. It was our experience that there is a stage beyond Acceptance––Celebration. This includes all the healing, growth, gratitude, and Love that came pouring out in the conclusion of seeming tragedy.
With whom can you share this kind of experience, when family, friends, religious leaders, and medical personnel don’t understand? There are awake and aware beings out there in C-1 (e.g., TMI/DEC) and in non-C-1 (e.g., Focus 12–35, “put it out to the universe”). If worse comes to worst, you can always fall back on the new tried and true: it’s all just a collapse of the quantum wave function. That’s physicists’ explanation for the manifestation of God: potentiality becoming physical. For the hard-core skeptics who don’t believe in an afterlife, my favorite response is to refer to all of the foregoing as a deep layer of the unconscious. This psychological explanation still has great value.
The radical constructivists or Zen adepts would say, “There is a world out there but you really can’t know it with ego or smaller self.” So what do we really know about another or our own Self; the eye trying to see the I, other than our own perception or construct? Did the Randi I knew and loved really exist in C-1 objectively or was she a perception/construct––an energy field, information––in my head? Yes and yes, and so much more than her physical body. When I meet her in Focus 27, am I imagining her, reconstructing her, or does her field of energy as part of the One of Consciousness exist? Yes and yes. Could it be any other way? The ambiguity is sometimes difficult to handle, perhaps that’s why TMI lets us concretize it into images, and that’s okay. But, to the degree we can tolerate the confusion, we will have the celebration of the discovery and freedom of consciousness, living out our lives with purpose. Randi is (not was) my soul mate, though no longer in C-1, and remains part of my Soul Group/Disc/I-There.
Haiku for Randi’s Funeral
For Gentle Blossom,
Sleeping Noble Heart of Gold,
All Have Gathered.
Written in honor of Randi Marlene Chaikin, born (?) November 13, 1952; crossed over May 2, 2007.
The Intercessor (learned in EXPLORATION 27)
Chaikin, G. D. 2001. Enhanced intuitive psychotherapy. Hemi-Sync Journal 19 (2): 1–4.
Chaikin, G. D. 2002. Hemi-Sync: A healing of the self. Hemi-Sync Journal 20 (4): 1–5.
Hawkins, D. 2001. The eye of the I: From which nothing is hidden. Sedona, AZ: Veritas Publishing.
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© 2009 by The Monroe Institute