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April 13

Learning to Be Unapologetically Myself

Sometimes, when our subconscious tries to deliver an important message to us, we can be pretty dense about receiving the message. I know, firsthand, that I ignore the lessons I’m supposed to be listening to from time to time. That’s why meditation is so important. Generally, if I get caught up in my daily life, I’ve put off listening to my own guidance. This leads to a situation where I’m meditating daily and really pushing to listen to myself. By the time I head to a Monroe Institute residential retreat, I wind up having a major revelation or download.

During 2021, this was absolutely true. After moving and working several jobs, I began ignoring myself and my meditation process. So, when I attended Exploration 27 at the end of the year, I found myself facing a major life lesson: I need to learn to be unapologetically myself.

As someone who grew up in a less than favorable home environment, I find myself apologizing for everything. In fact, my manager at my first job would give me a hard time for apologizing when I asked to take my break, telling me there’s no need to apologize for asking for something that is rightfully mine. I still find myself apologizing regularly for just being myself. It’s an unhealthy habit that has gone on for far too long.

No one else is going to value my time over their own. It’s up to me to respect myself and put myself first.

As I began my journey in Exploration 27, this pattern quickly revealed itself in many exercises. I was continually reminded to stop apologizing for being myself. With a quick intention to focus on this, I received the following guidance during a meditation session:

“You ARE unapologetically yourself by nature.

You intimidate others because of it.

As an empath, you can see that others are intimidated.

You lose your confidence because of this.

But it’s OK to be unapologetically yourself.

If others have problems with you, it’s THEIR problem, not yours.

So, continue being unapologetically yourself.”

As I dove deeper, I saw how this negative pattern was created. Growing up, whenever I would get excited and express myself, people would react negatively. Members of my family would constantly stop me from being my true self, as have other prominent people in my life. This enforced a pattern that stifled my growth and made me afraid to show my true nature.

As I continued to think on it, I realized that there is more to it. Not only do I need to value myself and let go of the fear of being who I truly am, but I need to value my own time. No one else is going to value my time over their own. It’s up to me to respect myself and put myself first. And while that doesn’t mean I should give up on others, it does mean that I should prioritize myself and stop putting myself second. This is, after all, a part of unapologetically being me.

This surfaced in meditation after meditation throughout the week until it became the theme of my program. It even popped up in casual conversations with other program members. During my first trip to the planning center, I was told, “You keep trying to cycle through lives to make change, and you focus on helping everyone but yourself. Perhaps this time around, part of this life should be for you. You can’t help others without helping yourself first.”

I may not be in a position to change the world, but I am in a position to change it for the people around me little by little, starting with myself and working outward.

I was reminded that I never really healed from my childhood this lifetime or from the wounds of other lives, and perhaps now it was time to do so. Thank goodness the Healing and Rejuvenation Center is a prominent part of Exploration 27! And what I’m going through right now is a part of my healing process—exploring spirituality, metaphysics, love, and travel. They are all ways to enjoy my life in a way I never could before.

I may not be in a position to change the world, but I am in a position to change it for the people around me little by little, starting with myself and working outward. This must start from the beginning with accepting myself and becoming unapologetically me.

So, I want to take these lessons that I’m still learning and soaking in and give them to you as a reminder. Take time for yourself in your life! Remember to take care of yourself. In a time like today, after the global pandemic, it’s more important than ever to meditate, allow your guidance to speak to you, and open yourself up to listen. Stop continually doing and take the time to meditate and listen to the lessons your higher self is sending to you. Heal yourself when you can. Release those patterns you’ve been holding on to that no longer serve you, and make room for the good in the world. And then, just maybe, we can be the change we want to see in the world by being unapologetically and authentically ourselves.

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Malorie Mackey

Actress, author and adventurer

Malorie Mackey is an actress, host, and writer living in Los Angeles, CA. Malorie's first book was published in 2017 and her short story "What Love Has Taught Me" has been published in the anthology "Choices.” You can find Malorie’s travel content on dozens of digital media platforms. Check out www.maloriesadventures.com for more. Malorie's adventures don't just encompass physical adventures. She has been a student of intuition since she was a teenager, studying at Edgar Cayce’s A.R.E. In 2019, Malorie discovered the Monroe Institute while filming her travel show. Since then, she has been studying the art and science of consciousness through many different programs and life experiences.